rindy's posts with tag: on relationship
I have to be honest, the main reason why I rarely write about marriage is because, I think marriage is like a roller-coaster ride. There are times when it can bring me to the highest feeling of happiness, but at a split second, a fight explode and I feel like am at the bottom rock of my life. There were too many times I think to myself, if only I could escape this marriage and just continue living alone. I dont mind raising Bebe by myself, I dont mind working my ass hard, but I just hate it when my mind is being bugged with negative thoughts when me and Billy had a fight. I mean, life is already challenging, if not hard. Cant I just have a peaceful life now? I never know how long I am going to live, so while I'm still breathing, I'm trying to make the best out of it.
l dont know what, or who to blame. The most obvious one to blame is, none other than myself. Everytime I had a fight with Billy, I kept telling and telling, that I just have to change how my mind works. I know that the key of my own happiness relies on the way I think. But it's not an easy task. Changing how your mind works is not as simple as one two three. There are other elements that are connected with mind. Ego, for example. I dont know, I think the biggest challenge of being a human is to compete with our own ego. And at the end of the day, who wins the battle determines what kind of a person we are.
After each fight, I fully realized, No, I can't run away from this marriage. Not just because for the sake of my baby, but because I am committed to it. And beyond that, deep inside I know I love my husband. I love him for so many reasons I cant describe. I love him for who he is, despite all of our differences. I love him because he's so different from every men out there. I love him for every little detail he does for me. I love him for the countless times of laugh he made me. He might not be the most romantic man in the world *though I wish so :lol:*, but things he does for me on daily basis are just amazing. All and all, he is a sweet guy in his own way. But I am just a human, sometimes I am too busy looking at the big picture, that I forget to see the little detail. Behind all these dramas in life, there is a reason why God created man and woman, that is to live side by side.
I now see this as only another phase of life. I am still young, we've been married for only 2 years, so we still got a long way to go. We still have a lot of dreams in our head, dreams for us to pursuit. Dreams that maybe, can only come true if we stay together, husband and wife.
Hopefully someday, I will look back to these days, holding hands with my dear husband and say that I am proud to be able to gone through all the hard times. And am proud to know that he is still there, hold me tight so I can never run.
Kiss Me Sixpence None The Richer Kiss me out of the bearded barley Nightly, beside the green, green grass Swing, swing, swing the spinning step You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.  Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight Lead me out on the moonlit floor Lift your open hand Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance Silver moon's sparkling So kiss me  Kiss me down by the broken tree house Swing me upon its hanging tire Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat We'll take the trail marked on your father's map 
Pas hari ini, tanggal 19 September suamiku ulang taun! Umm...kalo ada yang penasaran billy ulang taun yang keberapa, yaaah....anggep aja dia 17thn lah! Dan emang if you know him personally, you would agree that he's always 17 (well, probably a lil bit older) at heart  . He's a very fun kinda person, bukan tipe yang serius2 gitu. Dan karena hari ini ulang taunnya suamiku, I'd like to share a lil bit of how I see him as a person, as a husband, and of course, as a father. I know many of you must've heard the saying that you are lucky when you find a partner in your life who completes you. Well then I guess I'm a lucky person. When we married last year on January 2006, many in my family admitted that they found billy' was very different from my previous boyfriends type. They said they never thought that one day I would married a type of guy like him. Not on the negative side of course. Mungkin maksudnya karena sifat dan kebiasaan billy sangat amat bertolak belakang dengan sifat dan kebiasaan saya. He's outgoing, extrovert, get along with new people easily, while I'm exactly the opposite. He loves and able to cook, maksudnya masak disini bukan sekedar masak nasi goreng ato spaghetti yang standar yah, tapi masakan rumit yang pake ngulek bumbu dapur segala. Kaya sayur asem, ayam goreng ungkep, sayur lodeh, gulai ayam, masakan apa aja yang dia suka, you name it lah, and my bet that he's gonna try to cook it right on the next day. While me, oh dear.. kalo emang dirumah gak ada orang sama sekali dan lagi males untuk jalan keluar beli makan, saya lebih rela makan indomie daripada mesti masak, hehehe.... Hal masak memasak tadi berlaku juga untuk urusan sahur di bulan puasa ini. Billy yang masak untuk sahur, pasang alarm, bangunin saya, dan saya siap sahur dengan lauk di meja plus es teh manis  Well, a very good husband, yes? Huehehehehe.. And now for his new role as a father, I can say no other word than, amazing. Yes, he's been a very amazing father for his daughter. Dia gak cuma sabar main berjam-jam ama Bebe dirumah, but beyond that, he also does motherly chores like bathing her, feed her, change her diaper and put her to sleep. When mum went to Bali for 4 days for vacation, I can peacefully left bebe at home just with him. I have to admit it's incredible to see his patience in dealing with kids, especially babies. Yah sebenernya ada buanyak lagi hal dari my dear husband yang saya bisa ceritain disini, but those are the summaries of what very obvious about him. I'm sure anyone who know him in person would have known about his cooking skill and the rest of the things that I mentioned above. Dan yang membedakan ulang taun kali ini dari taun2 sebelumnya adalah, of course the presence of our beloved bebe . Well, as if saying it twice this morning wasn't enough yet, I'm gonna say it again here HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!!!!!
ada lagi tulisan untuk billy, disini.
When reading the perezhilton.com blog today, I found this interview with Kelly Clarkson on the Elle Magazine. And here's what she said about being in love:
".........I love my friends and family. But I have never said the words 'I love you' to anyone in a romantic relationship. Ever. I am very old-school, conservative in my thinking when it comes to relationships. Love is something you work at. It doesn't come easily. There are going to be bad days. You are going to have to work at loving someone when they are being an idiot. People think they're just going to meet the perfect guy. Don't be ridiculous."
Well, looks like Ms. Clarkson and I have somethings in common when it comes to love. When she said that love is something you work at, me think relationship is the thing you have to work at. For me, love is something that comes naturally, but relationship is definitely another different thing. It's never gonna be easy and takes hard work to maintain a good healthy one. And I couldn't agree more about the bad days. Hey, when the honeymoon's over, it's time for you to face the real thing. It's when you have to face the day to day routine, when you and your partner start to show some characters and attitudes. And keep on loving someone when you think they're being a total ass and a complete jerk, is definitely a hard work. Not to mention the fact that you're gonna see the face of your partner before you go to bed and wake up the next morning. Day by day until you both finally meet an mutual understanding. And when you do, another problem arises. For the married ones, it's a lifetime adjustment.
For those who think they're gonna meet the perfect guy, dream on! There's no such thing as perfect guy out there. Open your eyes and wake up from your dream, there's no Mr. Perfect exists in this world we're living in. The one that you have to find, is the one with idiocy and stupidity, you think, you can live with. Don't waste your time by having a relationship with someone whose attitude you just can't stand with. Life is short. Use your time wisely.
But unlike Ms. Clarkson, I do say I love you. I tend to fall hard when I fall in love. There's nothing wrong by saying I love you, it's an old classic thing I like. I think if you wanna seize up your life and live to the fullest, you've got to have the guts to give the 100% of you. Even though it also means you're opening yourself to the biggest possibility of getting hurt. But it's better than living in a grey area of uncertainty, right?
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